Thursday, August 23, 2007

Today, I’m taking my inspiration from Darragha Foster who blogged Saturday. (Hugs and good luck, Darragha!!) I thought I’d share a little about what’s happening in my life. Like her, I decided I was going to take control. I set out on a definitive course of action to do something about my inability to live the life I wanted. Let me digress…

Several months ago, I heard they were going to make a Bionic Woman movie and I decided I wanted the starring role! So I started making a few changes. Little by little, I knew I could change enough to grab that plum of a role.

I figured carpal tunnel syndrome had no place in a bionic woman’s life. How can I fire my super-secret laser gun if my fingers don’t move?. In just a few visits, Dr. Four-Foot-Needles took care of that problem.

But what about that rotator cuff injury I got playing backup quarterback for Peyton Manning in the Super Bowl? (Wasn’t I awesome?) How will I be able to throw rapid fire projectiles to bring down the fleeing bad guys?. This time, it took a visit to Dr. Close-Your-Eyes-And-Count-Back-From-Ten. Hey, no problem! Ten—
All fixed!

Now, what about the knee injury I received when I hurled myself in front of that goal David Beckham ALMOST got? How am I going to do all those snappy Kung-Fu kicks that are just soooo Bionic Woman? Another date with Dr. Close-Your-Eyes ought to fix this. This time, I didn’t even make it to ten.

Okay, I’m almost ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille, but that hip. The whole thing just isn’t working for me anymore. We really need to simply start all over and replace it. This time when Dr. Close-Your-Eyes showed up and his medical bag of tricks contained a hammer and saw, I didn’t need to count to anything. (YIKES!)

As you can imagine, my husband thinks I’m having an affair with Dr. Close-Your-Eyes, who also ‘did my toe’ (Now doesn’t that sound provocative?) last year. Trust me, if I were going to have an affair, I’d sure pick an easier cover than this.

With the help of my wonderful physical therapist, Diane-the-Mauler, who received her degree at the Marquis de Sade School of Therapy, my bionic body parts are almost all in working order. I’ve still got my cane (and top hat, of course) but it should go by the wayside in a few weeks. I figure I’m now a shoo-in for the starring part in the movie!

And that’s how I spent my summer – spring, winter and, hopefully, not fall — vacation. I’ve also spent the time dreaming up intriguing plots, devastating heroes and feisty heroines that I can’t get on paper – or computer – fast enough!

Okay, trivia time! Let me know if you remember the name of the original Bionic Woman and the actress who played her on TV (Don’t all google at once ). I’ll do a random drawing and send the winner a copy of CAPTURED, the second book in the Le Monte Dynasty series.

Thanks for blogging with me and have a great day!

3 comments:

arie said...

Was it Lindsey somebody? I'm not gonna peak. I agree about the physical therapists. I've always said that is a job for sadists. I learned that when I got my bionic arm.

Great blog. I had to comment under an ID one of my blogging characters use because I don't have a Google account...Nara Malone

LDWatkins said...

Lindsey Wagner? I think. I like your writing...cool blog.

Christine said...

Well you certainly sound like the bionic woman with all those artificial parts. lol

Great entry.